Left my heart in Sydenham to walk you down the aisle

Elvis was the hand you took, ain't seen your dad in a while

Darling, if you break my heart I guess it is okay

You were born cold like an Eskimo

who eats blubber for the taste

So call if you're feeling kind of sad

What's the point of us all balding like your dad?

So call if you're feeling kind of sad

What's the point of us all turning to the bag?

Oh-oh-oh

If I was a scooter, then I'd probably scoot away

Why is it always the end? The end was yesterday

This may be the last time that you see this ugly face

I was walking down to Bricklayers and ripped apart by snakes

So call if you're feeling kind of sad

What's the point of us all balding like your dad?

If your colours fade away

You'll keep my heart in Texas, Penge East and Bombay

(Huh) So call if you're feeling kind of sad

What's the point of us all balding like your dad?

So call if you're feeling kind of sad

What's the point of us all turning to the bag?

Oh-oh-oh