My dog just ran away
And I am feeling pretty bad
I've been sneaking out at night
And my parents are real mad
I've been taking lots of drugs
Cause they teach me not to care
Yeah, I guess that's how you cheat
Because life doesn't play fair

My brother told me
That he's gonna
Kill himself tonight
With a whole bottle of prozac
Or a shiny kitchen knife
He said that when he's dead
I'll have his nintendo 64
And I can play it all night long
Sitting on the basement floor

My girlfriend told me that
She doesn't love me anymore
And I wish I didn't care but
I thought she was really cool
So I drank a ton of liquor
Then I threw up in her sink
She said next time use the toilet
Then she offered me a drink

We passed an old man bleeding on the side of the street
So I got out of the car and I helped him on his feet
His breath smelled like whiskey
He was crying like a man
When I helped him stand up straight
I got his blood all on my hands
He said: I need a ride home because I got into a fight
Said: I should've seen the other guy
but he didn't see my point
He said his house was all the way on the other side of town
So we left him in the road and said we wouldn't turn around